You trying, Im staying.

Sometimes we lose people we love because they are meant to love someone else We lost them because we are destined to find somebody eIse might think positive But the truth is, I  did and that's apart of me.
 I make mistakes, and I know who I am because of them. I lost you because of it, but to lose you meant to gain myself. I've learnt many things when i'm with you, it just i don't implement it while i'm with you.

Once you left, the memories still remains and it used to be my references.

 I'm done feeling sorry for myself, and I'm done being broken, and I'm done letting you make me feel like that at all. I'm going to make myself stronger,no matter how I have to do it, because these thoughts are enough to drive someone insane, and I'm not going to let that be me anymore.I should thank to you cause i've learnt it for such many ways.

I'm not sure what to do about you. The feeling has never stopped. I've always wanted to be with you, and I've always had a thing for you. For every words you said, it reminds me everyday yet i still remember those your favorite things. I know what you like the most, your favorite foods , drink. the moment when you taste my 

foods . karaoke session and miss to argue with you for some nonsense things,It fades in and out, but it never really goes away. I miss your family even more :( 

I suffer in silence. I don’t cry in front of people. I can smile despite how bad things are.I just go through the motions. 

The thing is, we didn’t have to hate each other as we getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves .I just want to know if you meant everything you said.
 I don’t’ want you back, I don’t want an apology, I just want the 

truth. I want to know if what we had was even worth fighting for in the first place. I want to know if I cross your mind, I want to know if you realize just how much you messed up. I knew you for quite long time, only you can understand me,vice versa. I've tried to hate you, blame you for all of this, but no matter what I do, in the end know that I've brought all this hurt upon myself.we should stop pretending like everything is just wonderful 

but the fact it's all you think about.